Talking to your boyfriend about your finances

Discussing money matters with your prospective partners is one of the most ignored aspects during the dating period. While it is understandable that you do not discuss about money during your first meeting, it is extremely important that couples have discussions with regard to money matters. Generally, couples check their compatibility regarding eating habits, family backgrounds, hobbies, etc but do not discuss their compatibility regarding money and finance.

Talking with your Partner about Money

It is understandable that discussing spending habits, your financial position, motivations, and monetary goals is difficult and too personal in nature. However, since, here we are talking about your prospective spouse; you should honestly discuss the money matters so that there are no complications post your engagement or marriage.

It is widely believed that money is one of the leading causes of divorce globally. Hence, it is important that more and more couples discuss money upfront before final commitment. Financial position and savings have a very important role to play in deciding when you buy a house as a couple when you plan kids, their education, and vacations. The spending habits of each person in a couple may be extremely different. One partner may be an extreme saver cautiously spending every penny while the other may be splurging. Talking about money helps each partner understand the motivations and money related habits in order to judge whether the couple is financially compatible. Once you have decided to be a couple, you set common goals in a way the bits of help grow your finances and meet your goals comfortably.

While we now appreciate the importance of speaking to your spouse, the task of actually speaking about money is extremely difficult. Money talking during dating feels awkward. Sometimes, it may feel that the partner is too much nagging about money and may lead to strain in relationship. Hence, you should tackle the question of how to talk to your spouse about money rather skillfully and thoughtfully.

In a new relationship, one should slowly bring money talks during your second or third meeting by casually speaking about money. In case you two have meet through any online dating app or website, it is better to be careful at the start. Speaking about credit cards is a great start. You can begin with discussing various reward points and cash backs on credit cards. You are sure to get at least some interesting reply with regard to the credit card. You can then use this opportunity to share your experiences with credit card and thoughts regarding spending.

Based on the response from your partner, you slowly steer your money talks to discuss your spending habits, some investments. You can discuss a few topics like stock markets and mutual funds in general. Once your partner opens up a little regarding money, you then steer your conversation to a little serious stuff like financial goals, dreams, projected timelines in your opinion, investments, big-picture monetary target, etc. At this stage, generally, you understand the motivations, financial values of your partner and stage is set to dive deeply and discuss various aspects of money in a detailed manner.

Once you are comfortable discussing money and the initial hesitation is done away with, you now discuss your expenses, investments, financial goals, incomes, debts, etc. and discuss how much surplus can spare as a couple so that you can figure out what kinds of things you can afford together.

It is extremely important to provide an honest and complete picture of finances so that each partner is aware of what he or she is getting into and there are no big surprises found post-wedding. The more openly you speak about your values and differences with your partner, the easier it will be to make a financial decision together.

You should discuss not just spending and incomes but about investments, the risks that you are willing to take, the time horizons and so on. Keep in mind that you should understand your own attitude towards money and honestly open up about your expenses, your personal goals and habits. You should then carefully imagine your future together by setting common goals and make plans to finance these goals through careful savings and investments. If there is, one thing required to understand “how to talk about money with your boyfriend or spouse or partner” is to keep your cool, listen, and engage in a meaningful and honest discussion with your partner about money matters.